


Run Away

by notimmortal



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And that's only mentioned so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief backstory elements, Brief mentions of Depression, I completely removed the squip but still made them friends with everyone, M/M, Really sappy by the end tbh, TAGS I ADDED AFTER I PREVIEWED MY FIC AND DID A FINAL PROOFREAD:, heavy implications of Jeremy's mom being an alcoholic, parallelism attemps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 19:52:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18300869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notimmortal/pseuds/notimmortal
Summary: "I may not be wise, and I won’t save the day, but look in my eyes and know I’ll always stay. And I won’t run away. I won’t run away." - Ben PlattOr:Jeremy and Michael's pasts, and how it leads to the promise to stay





	Run Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> Guess who's been listening to Sing To Me Instead and crying since Friday (hint: it's me)  
> I have vague ideas of fics I want to write based on pretty much every song on that album, so we'll see if I actually write them  
> This idea came a bit more easily than some of my other ideas, so it's up first  
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title obviously ripped from Ben Platt, and I include that quote in my summary at some point in this fic because of course I do

Melissa Mell met her future wife Rochelle in college. It was love at first sight for the two of them as they bumped into each other on their way to a lecture.

 

“Sorry about that,” Melissa said, scrambling to pick up the other girl’s books. “I swear I usually pay more attention to where I’m going I just-”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Rochelle said easily. “They’re just books,” She gave Melissa a small smile. “I’m Rochelle.”

 

“Melissa.”

 

“Well, Melissa, what are you doing after class today?”

 

***

 

Karen Heere was about to murder her husband.

 

It’s not that Jason had done anything wrong, it’s that Karen was sick of the life she was living.

 

“You just don’t understand!” Karen slurred, throwing her empty wine glass at her husband. “It’s torture being trapped here with  _ you  _ and that  _ kid _ -”

 

“You mean our  _ son _ ?” Jason asked, cutting her off. “Kare, we can work past this. Please, just… Let me get you help.”

 

“I don’t need your help,” Karen said, stumbling towards their room. When she emerged again, she was carrying two suitcases. “I don’t  _ want _ your help.”

 

***

 

Michael Mell, age five, watched with terrified eyes as the sky lit up with lightning. Darting out of his bed, he ran up the stairs to find his mom.

 

“Michael, sweetheart, what are you doing out of bed?” Rochelle asked, putting down her book. She was still waiting for Melissa to return from her shift at the hospital. 

 

“The sky is loud and scary,” Michael all but whimpered to his mother. “And Mama isn’t home yet. What if she doesn’t come home? What if the sky gets her?”

 

Rochelle picked up her son, rocking him gently and carrying him back downstairs to his room. Once down there, she laid him down and got into bed with him, wrapping her arms around him. “Your Mama is a strong woman, Michael. She would never let the sky get her. And if it did, well, then it would have to deal with you and me!” She said, tickling her son, making him smile and laugh. “Try and sleep, love. Your Mama will be here when you wake.”

 

“And you’ll stay here, Nanay?” Michael asked, voice small.

 

“Of course, sweetheart. Of course.”

 

***

 

Jeremy Heere, age sixteen, watched with terrified eyes as his dad fell into another depressive slump.

 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jeremy asked, voice small. He knew that his dad hadn’t been taking the divorce (which just finalized after years of back and forth) well. It had been hard on Jeremy, too, but he needed to be strong for his dad.

 

They couldn’t both fall apart.

 

“Don’t worry about me, son,” Jason said, methodically getting up to put his cereal bowl in the sink. “I’m just not feeling up to going outside today is all. This’ll pass.”

 

Jeremy wanted to believe his father, but he had been saying that for months now. It never passed, never seemed to get better. Jeremy didn’t know what to do, feeling lost and helpless with no place to turn. No parent to save him.

 

“I’ll see you after school, okay?” Jeremy said, walking towards the door. He saw his dad nod and smile, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

 

***

 

Michael and Jeremy had been friends for twelve years, dating for the past year. They had seen every part of each others’ lives that mattered.

 

Which meant that Michael knew about Jeremy’s crippling fear of abandonment.

 

It pained him, but Michael could see it in Jeremy’s eyes every time they got intimate in anyway. There was fear, hesitation. Like Jeremy was just waiting for Michael to jump up and say “Actually, I’m good” and leave.

 

Twelve years hadn’t proven that he was going to stay, probably because Jeremy’s mother lasted that long too.

 

Michael knew he was lucky, having parents who were always there for him. Mr. Heere had been rocked by the divorce and had only really started getting back on his feet recently. Jeremy lost time that he needed with his dad, but they were working on that now. Michael never had that problem, his Mama and Nanay always putting him in a different realm from any of their struggles.

 

Jeremy’s past defined him in a way that Michael couldn’t understand fully, but he wanted to help. Needed to help.

 

The two boys were laying down in Michael’s room, storm raging outside. Neither of Michael’s moms were home, as they were currently on a mission to set Mr. Heere up with one of Melissa’s nurse friends, Heidi. Michael could tell that Jeremy was tense, so he pulled him closer and started rubbing his back gently.

 

“Jere, I think we need to talk about this,” Michael said softly, still rubbing Jeremy’s back.

 

“Talk about what?” Jeremy mumbled, not looking at Michael. 

 

“I’m not going anywhere, Jeremy.”

 

“Never said you were.”

 

Michael sighed, sitting up and pulling his boyfriend up with him. Jeremy still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “You didn’t have to, Jere. I know you. And I know you’re afraid I’ll leave you.”

 

“Everyone else did, so why wouldn’t you?” Jeremy asked, voice small.

 

“Hey,” Michael said, taking Jeremy’s hands. “Look at me,” slowly, Jeremy’s eyes met Michael’s. “I know things were rough with your dad for a while, but he’s still here, right? And you know my moms love you like a second son, they haven’t left you, right? And our friends? Christine and Rich and Jake and Chloe and Brooke and Jenna? Have they left you?”

 

“It’s only a matter of-”

 

“What about me, Jerebear? I’ve been here for the past twelve years. I  _ love  _ you. Have I left you?” Jeremy said nothing, looking away in hopes that Michael wouldn’t see him cry, but he felt Michael’s hand on his face, brushing away the tears. “None of that, Miah. I know it’s hard to here, but I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

 

“You should, though.”

 

“And why’s that?” 

 

“You’ll get tired of me eventually.”

 

“Twelve years, baby. Never getting tired of you.” 

 

This made Jeremy laugh, looking back into his boyfriend’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I do trust that you’ll stay it’s just… hard sometimes. Mom left, taking all of my extended family with her. Dad basically left for three years, leaving nothing behind. Because I lost my blood family, I forgot about my chosen family.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Jeremy,” Michael said, kissing his palm. “Look, I’ll tell you what my moms told me when I was a kid: I may not be wise, and I won’t save the day,” Jeremy muttered a soft  _ yeah right _ at that, but Michael ignored him. “But look in my eyes and know I’ll always stay. And I won’t run away. I won’t run away.”

 

Jeremy leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend softly. “Thank you, Micha. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Jere. And I’ll be here for you, always.”

 

“You won’t run away?” Jeremy asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

 

Michael smiled in return. “I won’t run away.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated but never required. Come say hi on [tumblr](https://ireallyneedabetterusername.tumblr.com/)! I'm always open for prompts (which no one ever gives me so if you like this you could be the first!)
> 
> As I said in my first note (which you may or may not have read, no judgement) I have ideas for most of the other songs on Ben's album. I've already written "Ease My Mind", but if there's one you really want to see and you actually like how I write you can let me know in the comments and I'll try to get that one out first.


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